Why Men Think They’re Still 25 (Even When Their Knees Say Otherwise)

A Field Guide to Male Delusion

Ive just returned from a boys trip to Tasmania and I think ive realised why there’s a strange phenomenon affecting men everywhere.
Doctors can’t diagnose it.
Scientists can’t explain it.
Women roll their eyes at it daily.

It’s called Male Age Delusion Syndrome.....the unwavering belief that no matter what the birth certificate says…
we are still 25.

Ask any bloke how old he feels and the answer will be something like:

“Mate, physically 53…
…but mentally?
Prime of my life.”

And that’s how disasters happen.

Let’s dig in.

The Internal Age Calculator Is Broken

Women age sensibly.
They accept changes, adjust lifestyle, buy supportive shoes.

Men?
We still think we can:

• jump a 10 metre gap
• sprint like we’re late for kick off
• deadlift our body weight “cold”
• pop a manual in front of the kids
• play touch footy without warming up
• ride Maydena on day 5 with zero sleep and a belly full of wine

Our knees disagree.
Our lower backs disagree.
Our tendons strongly disagree.
But the male brain quietly whispers…

“You’ve still got it, big fella.”

And we believe it.

The ‘One More Time’ Death Sentence

Every man knows those three fatal words:
“Just one more...”

• One more drop.
• One more jump.
• One more rep.
• One more sprint.
• One more beer before riding home.

At 25, “just one more” was a warm-up.
At 40+, “just one more” is the reason your physio drives a BMW.

If you ever want to see a grown man crying into an ice pack, just film him saying “Watch this.”

The Downhill Illusion

Men over 40, especially blokes like us who still play hard, carry a special kind of confidence:

On the climb:
“Boys go ahead, I’ll catch up.”

On the descent:
“Stand back and admire greatness.”

It doesn’t matter if our lungs are whistling like a busted kettle.....give us a challenge and we instantly transform into the hero of our own mental movie.

In our minds:
We are 25, fearless, and sponsored by Red Bull.

In reality:
We are 53, semi-employed by Voltaren.

The Shoulder-Check of Doom

This is the moment every man discovers he is not, in fact, still 25.

You bend down to pick something up.
You stand back up.
Your knees creak like an old barn door.
You freeze.
You look around slowly, hoping no one heard it.

Congratulations.
You’ve aged 15 years in one second.

Bonus points if you follow it up with:
“Wow, just need to warm up!”

No mate.
That’s age tapping you on the shoulder.

Our Brain Remembers. Our Body Does Not.

The male brain holds a deeply distorted archive of past ability.

It remembers:

• the tries we scored
• the jumps we nailed
• the sprints we won
• the weights we lifted
• the speed we carried
• the stupid things we absolutely should have died doing

But it conveniently forgets:

• recovery times
• hospital visits
• the fact you now groan when you sit down
• the kids asking “Dad are you alright?” every time you stand up

We think we're still the bloke we used to be.
And honestly?
I love that about us.

Male Ego vs. Physics

Here’s the dangerous part.

Men don’t change scale.

We don’t say:
“I’m 53, I’ll take the green line.”

We say:
“I’m 53, which means I have 30 more years of experience so I can take the black.”
(This is delusion.)

Age doesn’t humble us....it gives us overconfidence.
Because we confuse experience with physical ability.

Yes, we’ve gained experience.
But experience doesn’t save you from average knees and trying to land big jumps...

Physics doesn’t care about your “experience.”
Physics cares about velocity and stupidity.
Two things older men have in abundance.

Ive been tongue-in-cheek critical but.....

The Beautiful Truth Beneath the Madness

Here’s where I’ll give us blokes some credit.

We don’t think we’re still 25 because we’re arrogant.
We think we’re still 25 because deep down…

we still feel capable
we still feel alive
we still feel hungry
we still feel like men who say yes to things

The male spirit never ages in the same way the body does.

We still want to push.
We still want to test ourselves.
We still want to stand at the top of a trail or a challenge and feel that spark of fear turn into joy.

Our wives think we’re idiots.
And honestly?
that's pretty fair.

But I’d rather be a bloke who believes he still has something left in the tank…
than someone who gave up the day his first grey hair showed up or his knees started to groan...

We walk a fine line between glory and stupidity....
but it’s the same line that keeps us alive inside.

The Only Rule That Matters

Be 25 in your spirit.
Be 45 in your warm-up routine.
Be 85 in your recovery plan.

Age doesn’t take our fire....it just teaches us how to aim it. And if that makes us delusional, then I’d rather live deluded than live dulled....