Lesson: The Difference Between Silence and Stillness

Most people treat silence and stillness like they’re the same thing. They’re not.

• Silence is the absence of noise....external quiet.
• Stillness is the absence of internal movement....the mind at rest, not chasing the next thought, solution, or problem.

You can sit in silence but still be restless inside. Conversely, you can find stillness in chaos, a calm centre even when the world’s howling around you.

Why does that matter for you? Because your life is usually full of management.....of people, family, energy, even your own emotions. You find physical silence sometimes, but true stillness? That’s rarer.

Stillness isn’t doing nothing. It’s the state of not needing to do anything for a moment. And that’s different from stopping out of exhaustion. It’s a deliberate pause.

When you find even 30 seconds of real stillness....no expectation, no problem solving, no identity to uphold .... your nervous system gets a signal that you’re safe.

Most blokes don’t get that signal often enough.

I picked this up from a small book about presence years ago, and it’s stuck with me ever since. It’s a simple tool that helps me reset when anxiety or stress kicks in, whether I’m in my office after a rough day or at home surrounded by chaos. It’s become one of those quiet, reliable tricks I keep coming back to. My kids know the moment, it's usually preceded by a large sigh!

The Practical Tool: The 30-Second Drop

Try this once a day:

1. Sit down, somewhere.....doesn’t matter where and close your eyes
2. Let your jaw go slack, belly loose.
3. Feel what shifts.
4. If thoughts come, let them pass like clouds. You’re not their audience.

Say this silently:

“Nothing is required of me right now.”

Give yourself 30 seconds of deliberate stillness.

Not silence. Not absence.
Presence, without effort.

Do that long enough and you won’t just be managing your life......you’ll be mastering your relationship with it.

You can thanks me in a couple of years ;)