Journal - 20th June 2026

It's been a long time since I've written anything.

Longer still since I've published anything.

I stopped because I caught myself writing to impress people rather than to understand myself, and I didn't like where that was heading. The words stopped feeling honest. They became performative, shaped more by what I thought others wanted to hear than by what I genuinely thought and felt.

So I'm starting again here.

Quietly.

No agenda. No audience in mind. Just reflection.

Life at the moment feels good. Not exciting in the way people often mean when they say that, but good in a deeper sense. Steady. Predictable. Settled.

The house is about a third of the way through the build now. I've outsourced it, and it's taking shape beautifully. After years of planning and thinking about it, seeing it become real is satisfying.

The kids are happy. They're playing great rugby and growing into themselves a little more each day.

Clare and I are getting along really well. Better than well, actually. There's an ease to us at the moment that comes from years of choosing each other through different seasons. We're laughing a lot. Enjoying each other's company. It feels natural.

Mum and Dad have settled in well on the property too. We see them often now, and what's surprised me most is how relaxed it's become. What once felt like a big responsibility now just feels like family.

Today, Dad and I built a ramp into the chicken house so Mum can get up there more easily. Her knees aren't what they used to be. She's 76 now, so that's hardly surprising.

It wasn't a big job, but it felt important.

Funny how life changes. You spend years thinking your role is to achieve more, earn more, build more, and then one day you realise that some of the most meaningful things you'll do involve building a simple ramp for your mother.

Work is still work.

Last swing, around days eight and nine, I had a bit of a wobble. I wasn't sleeping well and, as always, fatigue made everything feel heavier than it was.

I started overthinking.

The house debt. The responsibility of having Mum and Dad on the property. What would happen if I lost my job and had to sell everything.

At the time, it felt overwhelming.

Looking back now, it's easy to see how distorted those thoughts were. The reality hasn't changed. Only my level of rest has.

It's a good reminder that tiredness lies. Problems that seem insurmountable at two in the morning often shrink back to their true size after a decent sleep.

It's something I need to get better at managing while I'm away.

I've also noticed I haven't heard much from Joe, Bella, or Hannah lately.

But that's not sadness talking. It's just life.

They're grown up now. They have their own routines, responsibilities, relationships, and dreams. That's exactly what's meant to happen.

I miss them, but I'm proud of them.

As I sit here writing this, I realise I don't have any grand insight to share.

I'm happy.

I'm in love.

My life is good.

And maybe that's enough.

Maybe contentment isn't something you chase. Maybe it's something you notice when you stop looking elsewhere.